jacobjacobjacob

Dirty South Goth Weed Zombie. www.thisisjacobshelton.com

The Unauthorized Saved By the Bell Story: The Shape of Screech to Come

I watched The Unauthorized Saved By The Bell Story last night on Lifetime so you didn’t have to. Here’s a spoiler, Screech say “Schwing” twice.

emilianadarling:

deanobanion:


"Horsemanning, or fake beheading, was a popular way to pose in a photograph in the 1920’s. Sometimes spelled horsemaning, the horsemanning photo fad derives its name from the Headless Horseman, a character from “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.”

(x)

HUMAN BEING ARE AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN SUCH HUGE FUCKING DORKS OKAY.

emilianadarling:

deanobanion:

"Horsemanning, or fake beheading, was a popular way to pose in a photograph in the 1920’s. Sometimes spelled horsemaning, the horsemanning photo fad derives its name from the Headless Horseman, a character from “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.”

(x)

HUMAN BEING ARE AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN SUCH HUGE FUCKING DORKS OKAY.

(via sizzlefruit)

minorphrases:

“Hey Glen, could you get that?” It would be a request that haunted Ted Dwyer for the next ten years. Beyond that it only came up in hushed conversations on the Fourth of July and Labor Day.“Dad do you remember that guy who used to flip burgers from across the fence? What was his deal? Did you ever actually invite him to any of our barbecues or was that like, his thing?”

Ted threw a bottle of twenty five year old single malt scotch against the wall of his modest suburban home. He didn’t want to talk about it.

Another thing I wrote. This isn’t about tv but I guess I could see how someone could really stretch the limits of their imagination and add the phrase “while they were watching television…” and oh no I just did it.

minorphrases:

“Hey Glen, could you get that?” It would be a request that haunted Ted Dwyer for the next ten years. Beyond that it only came up in hushed conversations on the Fourth of July and Labor Day.
“Dad do you remember that guy who used to flip burgers from across the fence? What was his deal? Did you ever actually invite him to any of our barbecues or was that like, his thing?”

Ted threw a bottle of twenty five year old single malt scotch against the wall of his modest suburban home. He didn’t want to talk about it.

Another thing I wrote. This isn’t about tv but I guess I could see how someone could really stretch the limits of their imagination and add the phrase “while they were watching television…” and oh no I just did it.

Nashville Season 2 Wrap-Up

Howdy ya’ll! Do you watch Nashville? Do you watch Nashville and think to yourself, “Why isn’t anyone blogging about this god damned show?” Or do you not watch the show but still want things to look at on the internet while you’re at work? Well good news! I’ll be writing episode recaps for the 3rd season of Nashville (premiering on September 24th) for Television Woodshed and I’ve started early by trying to recap the entire second season only to very quickly go off the rails. 

If brooding hunks in cowboy hats isn’t your style I’ll also be recapping brooding hunks who will soon become the Joker (Gotham), and brooding hunks* who run very fast (The Flash). So go check out the site, there are a lot of great writers doing the lords work (you know, watching television nd spouting opinions) and hopefully you’ll think it’s funny. Okay byeeeeeeee.

*There are multiple Flashes right?

obscurala:

verso:"J. R. York - son, DavidDaughter - Sue (With their ‘tater crop!)

This may be my favorite photo ever. I can’t stop laughing and I want french fries.

obscurala:

verso:
"J. R. York - son, David
Daughter - Sue
(With their ‘tater crop!)

This may be my favorite photo ever. I can’t stop laughing and I want french fries.

natbrut:

SALE! is Nat. Brut’s first ever print supplement! We’re compiling a newsprint publication similar to the coupon supplements you find in your Sunday newspaper. It will be composed entirely of fake advertisements; i.e. vintage ads, newspaper classifieds, coupons, local business phonebook ads, etc. Deadline: August 28th, 2014 at noon. 
SUBMIT today!

Have you submitted to Nat Brut’s SALE! issue yet? I like their journal, I like you, I think you guys would like each other. I’ve been trying to think of something to send in for two months and as of this morning I’m drawing a blank. Earlier this month I had an idea for a hammer and then a cupcake but I think I was just hungry and needed to do some maintenance around my apartment. Anyway, send them things.

natbrut:

SALE! is Nat. Brut’s first ever print supplement! We’re compiling a newsprint publication similar to the coupon supplements you find in your Sunday newspaper. It will be composed entirely of fake advertisements; i.e. vintage ads, newspaper classifieds, coupons, local business phonebook ads, etc. Deadline: August 28th, 2014 at noon. 

SUBMIT today!

Have you submitted to Nat Brut’s SALE! issue yet? I like their journal, I like you, I think you guys would like each other. I’ve been trying to think of something to send in for two months and as of this morning I’m drawing a blank. Earlier this month I had an idea for a hammer and then a cupcake but I think I was just hungry and needed to do some maintenance around my apartment.
Anyway, send them things.

tomlevinge:

He is very brightly broadcasting his emotions.  Not advised (too expensive.) 

I want to extend my gratitude to Tom for creating this lovely portrait of me. Of myself? You get it.

tomlevinge:

He is very brightly broadcasting his emotions.  Not advised (too expensive.) 

I want to extend my gratitude to Tom for creating this lovely portrait of me. Of myself? You get it.

tomlevinge:

This guy hardly thinks about anything useful ever!  Imagine that!

tomlevinge:

This guy hardly thinks about anything useful ever!  Imagine that!

minorphrases:

Betty was quite pleased with her get. She had been trying to steal a baby for quite some time now and she had managed to nab herself a good one.
“Wave goodbye to mom and dad, or not. Take it from me, they never loved you.” Betty thought it unfair that baby Ramsey’s parents kept two children in their ward. Sure, they were both their biological children but come on.
Ramsey’s soon to be ex brother wore a head full of hair, too much for a child his age. Most of it was made up of scraps from the custom wig shop that their father owned. His parents spoiled him with all the wigs he could wear while withholding not only their wigs but also their love from little Ramsey.

From the moment Betty held this stolen baby she knew that she would never let her feel alone or go one day unwigged.

wigs and amber alerts.

minorphrases:

Betty was quite pleased with her get. She had been trying to steal a baby for quite some time now and she had managed to nab herself a good one.

“Wave goodbye to mom and dad, or not. Take it from me, they never loved you.” Betty thought it unfair that baby Ramsey’s parents kept two children in their ward. Sure, they were both their biological children but come on.

Ramsey’s soon to be ex brother wore a head full of hair, too much for a child his age. Most of it was made up of scraps from the custom wig shop that their father owned. His parents spoiled him with all the wigs he could wear while withholding not only their wigs but also their love from little Ramsey.

From the moment Betty held this stolen baby she knew that she would never let her feel alone or go one day unwigged.

wigs and amber alerts.